How to get rid of the weight of false beliefs and false feelings that make you feel responsible for having to be the fixer. – Words to Live by
By Pastor Lonnie G. McCowan
Being really free means getting rid of false beliefs, but how? You replace them with new beliefs. This has been one of the main exercises that has help transform my life and keeps me moving and living with peace, passion, and purpose.
Here is what you do first, Identified the false beliefs. Second replace the false beliefs with a new belief.
The reason for this is the only way we can be released from any painful sense of false responsibility is to see that it is based in a false belief.
To see through the false belief is to be released from the weight of useless false responsibilities.
Read carefully the following list of six false beliefs and the false responsibilities that are attached to them.
Then welcome the true responsibilities listed. Dare to learn everything you can about your own false beliefs and then watch how the weight of false responsibilities falls off of you.
#1: False Belief: Unwanted moments are to be avoided at all costs.
False Responsibility: You feel as if you must remain in control of everyone and everything at all times.
True Responsibility: Welcome everything that happens to you as an opportunity to see through and transcend the unconscious burden of being someone laden with any false beliefs.
#2: False Belief: You are only as valuable, or worthless, as other people agree that you are.
False Responsibility: You’re convinced that you must do whatever it takes to win the approval of everyone you meet.
True Responsibility: Be real… learn what it means to be in possession of yourself, starting with reclaiming your life.
#3: False Belief: You are responsible for the happiness or unhappiness that others feel.
False Responsibility: You must always compromise yourself to ensure the contentment of everyone else.
True Responsibility: Stay out of the lives of all those who expect you to do for them what they won’t do for themselves.
#4: False Belief: You must learn to “tolerate” friends and family who have agreed to live with and justify negative states.
False Responsibility: You must constantly smooth over rocky situations, ensuring that no one rocks anyone’s boat enough to tip it over.
True Responsibility: See all negative states as the unconscious, dark emotions that they are, and refuse to justify them in yourself, or anyone else.
#5: False Belief: You can change what happened yesterday by revisiting and reliving it today.
False Responsibility: Unless you worry about and suffer over your past, your tomorrows are not going to turn out right.
True Responsibility: You can be a new person right now. Let go of anything that wants to revisit and relive the past.
#6: False Belief: Feeling deeply stressed proves you really care about whatever you’re suffering over.
False Responsibility: It’s up to you to shoulder the weight of those painful thoughts and feelings that want to drag you down.
True Responsibility: See that agreeing to suffer from your own mental and emotional states makes as much sense as blaming the coffee that just burned your mouth.
Let me encourage you to sit down and make your own list of false beliefs, and the legion of false responsibilities that come with them. Remember that your one true responsibility in life — the one action that will always see to your success in life — is to always be as awake and receptive to the present moment as you can be.
If we refuse to see what life is trying to show us about ourselves, then we can’t learn. If we don’t learn the truth of ourselves, then true self-knowledge becomes impossible. Without a higher self-knowledge, (this comes from God) there is no way to rise above ourselves… to reach that innermost path that alone leads to the fulfillment of our highest possibilities.