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The J-Train is busy at work and studying. (Photo by Chris Frost)
Wednesday, July 29, 2020

By Chris Frost




Oxnard-- Life continues to be a mystery, and the J-Train is now a college freshman. After years of schlock jobs, she enrolled in school and is chasing her newly found passion.


I understand and support that position 100 percent of the time. I, too, remade myself at age 49, went back to school, relearned what I studied in college 29 years earlier, and now I am an old newsman who tells the story no matter who I piss off.  I'm told I have a knack and natural talent for pissing people off. Ask the J-Train. She'll tell you in spades.


In a way, it makes me feel nostalgic. It's been a long time since I looked at someone, told them to put away the video games and do their homework.


Here is my life, right now. Are you doing your homework? Yes, the J-Train says. Are you taking notes? That's why I have the book.


Do you sense a lecture? Here it comes. J, if you take notes, you will imprint the lesson in your mind, and it will be a valuable study tool. For some reason, my big guy, Travis, finds me lecturing the J-Train about homework as immensely satisfying and funny.


Other things are not going as well. Telling the J-Train to have a neat and orderly desk and how that will keep her at the top of her class got me a dirty look and being called a @#!!&#.


As a graduate from the University of Northern Colorado, there are some things I can help her with to make adjusting to college life palatable. For example, Wednesday night is drown night. On drown night, you celebrate the midpoint of the week, and you rejoice.


There is a social organization that she gets automatically enrolled in, F.A.C., otherwise known as the Friday Afternoon Club. This is the point in time where you kick back and celebrate finishing another week of school. Loud music is the rule here, although that means Janis Joplin music playing so loud that our neighbors will hate us. Saturday is hibernation day, followed by Sunday, otherwise known as procrastination and cram with a bad attitude day.


I'm doing my part by leaving the television off and sitting here quietly. I did mention that I enjoy the college coed Friday night mixer, but that activity is off the table too. She told me to empty the cat box instead, but that ranks up there with petting a skunk.


She'll get through this. Let's hope that I do.