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Chris Frost
Thursday, March 26, 2020

By Chris Frost


Oxnard-- Now that we are supposed to stay at home due to the coronavirus, I thought I would offer some tips to make your time at home with your significant other more enjoyable.


First of all, I hope everyone is good, and you're taking all the necessary steps to remain safe. If you need to go out and get supplies, please be safe and practice social distancing. I keep watching my email for any updates, and when I get one, you get it. I'll keep you informed about the latest developments.


With all that said, people will look at each other and say now what? We're all home, and I have to interact at home. Those of you in the community who've met me and been interviewed by me, probably understand what kind of challenge that would be for my wife, Janis, as I am a little goofy, at times.


The first thing we did was pull out the board games. After a debate, we decided to play scrabble. Just a piece of advice, once you realize that your wife is beating the pants off you, it's inappropriate to tip the game over and start screaming "you cheated" and throw a tantrum - even if your wife compliments you on all the two-letter words you've built on the board.


Now that we've established that Janis is a cheater, we switched to watching television. Now I'll tell you that Janis likes watching all those drama, medical, soap opera shows, while I prefer comedies. I stand by the fact that a well-timed fart while two doctors argue about who got who pregnant is funny. Janis doesn't agree. 


This is our first opportunity to practice social distancing. During those shows, it is a great time to run the dishwasher, take out the trash, recycling, and put things away. It is also a great time to do the laundry and do things like take a shower and then process pictures for the paper. 


Once all the shows are over, it's time to talk. This is always a great time to exchange views on how to proceed.  I usually say, "we need to cut back on groceries and build money in the bank, and Janis will say, "I need fresh veggies, ice cream, and I would like to buy something fun.” Something I don't need.


For me, I started buying store brands for my food, and I am buying only what I need. If we have something, I use it. I will always cut back so Janis can have what she wants.


We do agree on one thing, as we both say the animals come first. Janis and I go to the animal section first, and we buy their food and treats before we purchase anything. Our fur babies come first every time—end of story.


Here are a few helpful hints for husbands if your wife likes to read in bed. First, don't start asking questions about her book. It is also a bad idea to put your wife on Facebook live when she falls asleep. Photos are ill-advised, as well as are tickling and airhorns.


Through it, all, Janis and I stand united. We debate and compromise on everything, and Janis often calls herself a "good sport" when I tease her. If you need a politics fix, let's hope the House and Senate stop screwing around and get on the same page. The Republicans accuse the Democrats of polluting up the aid package with the Green New Deal funding, and I have to wonder why the Democrats aren't refuting the accusation. Talk about it, all you Democrats, instead of talking around the accusation.


Stay safe, everyone.


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