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Chris Frost
Wednesday, January 6, 2021

By Chris Frost



Oxnard-- Happy 2021, everybody! Since I've already reviewed why I won't miss 2020, let me outline some goals as I move into the new year.


I've done this each year for a long as I can remember, and for 2021, like many others, I need to lose the pandemic 20 that I've put around my midsection. Fortunately, I have access to exercise equipment that I bought the J-Train that never gets used. 


I can lose weight by putting the J-Train in charge of cooking for us each night. We've been together for 23.5 years, and she's never cooked a meal. When we first started dating, I was a fast-food manager, and she decided to help me part-time. One of the popular items we sold each Sunday morning were mini cinnamon rolls. I would come out of my office before opening the store and would find burnt rolls all over the place, except for the first batch that would mysteriously disappear, along with a whole bunch of vanilla shake. She hid them in her stomach.


I don't know about you, but burnt food curbs my appetite. When she makes food for herself, it's usually vegetables cooked in the microwave. That will help me lose weight too. I'll keep you posted on that.


I also need to start using the upstairs television more often. For some context, I like comedies and dialogue-heavy dramas, while the J-Train like likes insipid horror movies, which I consider on a level with erotic movies. Way too often; she'll hand me the remote and tell me to pick something. Once I decide, I usually hear, not that movie, or that movie! I call the other television a win-win solution.


I also want to get shades for my eyes for bed. When the J-Train and I go to bed at night, she likes to read, and I like to sleep. The light stops me, so I start asking her to turn off the light. That never happens, and she always falls asleep with the light on. This is another win-win.


I also want to be less silly around the house. For example, if I clean up after the dogs, I should stop placing the dog's business in the cat box. Now, Ziggy is a problem, and he's taken out his boredom and dislike of Buddy on the furniture and anything sitting on the kitchen counter. However, playing practical jokes on the cat is wrong.


I'll also plan on being more sociable on the road. If someone tailgates me, I will speed up or change lanes. I'll stop slowing down and giving them the finger.


One thing I won't let go of is how Covid-19 screwed so many people and businesses. Stopping business is a complete brand of idiocy. The science is simple and saying that you can shop in a crowded Walmart is fine while eating at a restaurant is wrong.  The bill will come due for this mess, and the departure of people on Interstate 15 will be epic. Those who remain better plan on paying a lot of taxes. 

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